What does “Success” mean to you?
What Men Think
What Women Think
Winning, and being valued.
Women tell me that the number one reason why they leave their jobs is that they don’t feel valued at work for their strengths. Men are perplexed when they hear women say this. What’s being valued got to do with success, they wonder? For men, getting a bonus, a pay increase or promotion, is enough to make them feel valued. Winning and being valued are the same thing.
Succeeding according to the male version of success isn’t enough for women. It’s easy for men to miss out on this one. “If I don’t say anything about her work, it means she’s doing a good job. If she’s doing a good job, she’s valued,” they say. But women don’t feel like they’re at work just to produce results. Results alone aren’t enough to give us satisfaction. We often want our work to matter, and to feel this way, we have to hear it from someone.
We need to realize that men don’t understand how important being valued is to us. Make some allowances – ask for feedback. Men really may think your bonus or your promotion was enough to make you feel valued.
Start the conversation with your boss to help him understand your view of success. It doesn’t take much effort for men to make women feel valued. Men just need to open their mouths and say what they think instead of taking it for granted that you understand. We need to hear we are appreciated. And it’s not because we are insecure. It’s because for us, success includes being valued by our colleagues.
Bottom line – we can thrive in a masculine environment without changing who we are. If you would like more tips on how to do just that, then download my free Magnetic Influence Litmus Test where I share 4 simple questions you can ask yourself to predict your ability to influence, and how to gain that influence.