It’s amazing how little we really know about men. We think we know a lot about the opposite sex, but in fact, what we have are a lot of opinions.
“Men only care about end results”
“Men don’t know how to listen”
“Men will do anything to get ahead.”
Opinions are fine. But they’re limited in scope, substance, and usefulness. Why? Because we get opinions from mapping their behavior on to our own experience.
When we rely on our opinions to judge men’s behavior, we tend to look for confirmation of what we already believe. We also tend to decide instinctively whether they are “right” or “wrong” instead of really listening to them.
Opinions vs. Insights
Opinions are good for making more opinions. But they’re not very good tools for learning. The time has come to put aside your opinions. What you will see in this blog are insights. Insights are discoveries we make when we become aware of something that we weren’t previously conscious of. They are about discovery, about alerting your mind to something entirely new, about grappling with something you never really thought about before, about taking a look at the world through an entirely different pair of eyes.
Few of us are paid to have insights, so we don’t think about them very much. But insights are exactly what we need to understand men. They are the moments we say, “Ah-hah!”
In these blogs posts, you will get a chance to stand in mens’ shoes. This is your first chance to get some “Ah-hahs” about men. But you’ll only be able to do that if you put aside your opinions and really listen.
We don’t know what we don’t know
Many women think they understand men through and through. When women hear men’s challenges they are tempted to trivialize and dismiss them. It’s easy to label men and dismiss them as dinosaurs.
Try to resist this impulse. Take this information at face value, for what it is. I have heard hundreds of men talk about the same challenges over and over again. Men truly feel the way they say they do.
Try to imagine how you would act if you went to work every day with men’s concerns. If learning is what you want, then look for insights. Men are giving you the chance to see how the world looks from their perspective. Why not take them up on their offer? Like I said, it’s amazing to see how little women know about men. Proof? When women hear men’s challenges, their most common reaction is: “I never realized men felt that way.”
Bottom line – We can thrive in a masculine environment without changing who we are. If you would like more tips on how to do just that, then download my free Magnetic Influence Litmus Test where I share 4 simple questions you can ask yourself to predict your ability to influence, and how to gain that influence.